


The Way I Loved You

by rainforestgeek



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Guardian Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Identity Reveal, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Post-Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainforestgeek/pseuds/rainforestgeek
Summary: No one knew their identities except the Guardian of the Miraculous. But that wasn't true anymore. Master Fu was gone and now Marinette was the Guardian - but she didn't know who held the black cat miraculous.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 25
Kudos: 135





	1. Decision

Ladybug had been putting this off.

Every day she saw Chat Noir, after the battle, after they fist-bumped or said goodnight after patrol, she promised herself that next time she'd talk to him about it. Every time, when that next time came, as soon as she saw his golden-blond hair and pointed leather ears she lost her nerve.

With Master Fu gone, they were all alone in this now. _No one_ knew their identities. That should have kept them both safer than ever, but she felt untethered. If anything happened to Chat Noir in his civilian life, or to her, they'd have no way of finding each other because no one else kept an eye on them anymore. 

Six battles passed before she got up the nerve. The sixth was a tricky fight against a man who ran a jewelry shop – and all the merchandise got weaponized. Sharp hoards of earrings tormented them like sharp, shiny little bees. Necklaces slithered around their bodies, trying to bind and choke them. Ladybug’s first lucky charm didn’t work so she was forced to recharge while Chat held off the akumatized victim and his hundred kilos of semi-precious weapons. They had a close call where he fell very close to her hiding spot and he almost got hit scurrying away without looking at her.

At the end of it all, she held her polka-dotted plastic Mardi Gras necklace and looked at her partner’s scratched-up face, her own cheeks stinging. She threw the beads, healed Paris, and their cuts disappeared with a tickling swarm of ladybugs.

“Well, he sure put up a fight.” He smiled at her and held up his fist.

They pounded it, he bowed, and turned with his staff extending. In one terrifying heartbeat she made her decision.

Ladybug caught Chat's arm before he could bounce away. He only had a couple pads left on his ring. "Chat Noir, wait."

He looked surprised. "Ladybug?"

She gathered her nerve and leaned closer to him. "I need to talk to you about the miracle box," she said quietly.

"What's wrong?"

"Tonight. Meet me at our patrol point?"

Chat studied her features carefully. "Of course. Eight o'clock?"

"I'll be there."

* * *

“Lovely evening, m’lady.” His voice startled her. She spun to see him crouched on the roof railing next to her, looking every bit the smug ninja cat. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company on such a fine Paris night?”

Chat Noir grinned at her. He didn’t wink, didn’t smirk, didn’t cock a hip, didn’t reach for her hand to kiss her fingers, and didn’t drop a flirty pun. As he had consistently been these past weeks, he behaved like the perfect, platonic gentleman.

Ladybug almost missed him flirting with her. Something about their relationship had become strained, the easy banter deadening just a little. He stopped asking her out, stopped bringing up his feelings, and she was grateful for both their sakes, but he wasn’t as…warm to her anymore.

Sure, she was moving on from Adrien. New York had thrown a wrench in her plans to let him go, but still each day got a little easier. Now she had to admit that Adrien wasn't the reason she couldn't fall for Chat - at least, not anymore.

_It was our love that destroyed the world._

She refused to risk that.

She must have been silent for a while, because he nudged her. “Seriously, Ladybug, is everything okay? What did you want to talk about?”

Ladybug played with her own fingers. She felt her nerves fluttering in her very bones. “So there’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to say it…wait no, that makes it sound like bad news but it’s not…really – I mean – ”

“Ladybug,” Chat stopped her spiral with hands on her shoulders. “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay. We’re in this together.”

She focused on the warm feel of his touch through the suits.

"Ever since Master Fu left me the miracle box, I've been thinking about our identities. It's a lot of responsibility and I have to look after all the kwamis, not just Tikki. That includes Plagg. So I think it might be time that we," she took a deep breath, "tell each other who we are."

Chat looked stunned. "You're serious."

"Very serious. Our identities being secret worked because we had a Guardian who did know about us. Now it's just us. I think it'll be more dangerous if we can't find each other now. I can't protect you or Plagg as long as I don't know."

"Bug, it's my job to protect you," Chat responded automatically. His voice was soft. "So...no more secret identities?"

"No more secret identities."

They ducked behind a secluded chimney without any windows facing them. Ladybug steeled herself, heart beating itself into a frenzy.

"Spots off."

With a flash of pink magic, she was Marinette.

Chat Noir went stock still.

He stared at her with so many emotions dancing across his face that she couldn’t hope to read expression. She distracted herself digging in her purse for a cookie for Tikki, even though she didn’t strictly need it after such a short transformation and no lucky charm.

Finally his choked voice said, “Marinette?”

Marinette glanced up at him then buried her hands in her pockets. “Hi, Chat Noir.”

"But...you...Multimouse..."

"That's...kind of a long story."

"Fox miraculous?"

Marinette blanched. "Okay, so not a long story."

Chat Noir clutched bunches of his hair in his hands, pacing back and forth in agitation. "Oh my god, that makes so much sense. _That makes so much sense._ "

"I'm - glad?"

“Of course you’re – of course you’re _you_. Who else – oh my god, I was right. Is that why you did it?”

Marinette was getting concerned. Chat’s grip on his hair looked dangerously tight. His eyes, so wide they might’ve fallen out of their sockets, gazed at her and through her and into the ether all at once. She stepped forward. “What are you talking about, kitty?”

“Kwamibuster. Did you know I suspected you? Is that why you went through all that trouble to show me you were Multimouse?”

She scratched the back of her head. “Yes. But…you suspected me?”

He nodded. His eyes were glazed over.

“Chat Noir, I know this is a lot to take in, I don’t mean to push you, but…it’s your turn.”

His bright lime cat eyes snapped to her face, wide with shock and his pupils narrowing to slits. That was a look of panic.

"No. No, I can't, I'm sorry."

"Chat Noir. I need to know. If I can't keep track of you and Plagg then you're in danger."

"I'm afraid, M'Lady."

"What are you afraid of?"

His ears drooped. He nervously gripped his bicep and averted his eyes from Marinette. "You're gonna treat me differently once you know who I am."

"Chat, no."

"Give me a day. Please. Just give me a day."


	2. Breakup

_Your indecision hurts me, Adrien._

Kagami was never one to beat around the bush. Adrien liked that about her. It was his turn to be just as honest with her, instead of hesitating.

He'd thought he could move on, fall in love with this amazing girl who could beat him up with a foil and cut past everyone's nonsense. She drew him to herself like gravity that he never resisted. Kagami made him feel comfortable, seen, and powerless.

Kagami was like gravity but Chat Noir and Ladybug had always been magnets. It was inescapable. Maybe he would move on someday, or maybe he'd be doomed to love her forever. But more than anything, Marinette needed him. They were _partners._ It was his job to protect her, support her, and never leave her alone, especially now that she held the two mantles as Guardian and Ladybug. As long as Hawk Moth was a threat to Paris, she superseded every other priority.

There wasn't room for anything else. He couldn't ever let her down again.

She found him after fencing practice staring blankly into his locker. 

“You look disturbed.”

He closed the locker door gently. “There’s a lot on my mind.” He knew what he needed to say next, but he had trouble forming the words. Kagami waited for him in silence.

Their relationship was very new. They’d officially been on four dates, two of which were after he'd gotten back from New York. Adrien thought he saw the sad expectation in her eyes, like she knew very well what was coming. He tenderly took her hands in his.

“We need to talk, Kagami.”

“You’re breaking up with me. Aren’t you?”

Adrien felt like a brick slid down his throat and lodged in his chest. He nodded.

In almost a year he’d never seem Kagami cry, or come close. She still didn’t cry now, but she shut her eyes in tight concentration for a moment, and when she opened them again, they were shining with moisture. “You changed your mind. Again.”

"I'm so, so sorry. I know I shouldn't have led you on. But I can't...I don't have room in my heart to be with you the way you deserve. I can't give you more than my friendship right now."

"You never will, Adrien."

"I don't like to say never."

"But I need you to say it. I will not wait for you, so no more half-decisions. No more 'right now.' Let go of me."

He knew she didn't mean her hands. He squeezed them. "It - us - won't happen, Kagami. I'm sorry." The words rubbed Adrien the wrong way. He knew more than anyone how everything changes in the blink of an eye. It seemed irresponsible to say 'never' - but he understood.

Kagami dropped her hands from his. "She loves you back, you know."

"What?"

"Marinette."

He blanched. How could Kagami possibly have known? She didn't suspect their secrets, did she?

"She doesn't go after what she wants and neither do you," she continued. "I don't know how you'll find each other that way. So good luck, Adrien." It sounded like a goodbye. Kagami swept past him out of the locker room.

A part of Adrien couldn't believe what she'd said. He _had_ gone after her. He'd handed Ladybug his heart; he'd jumped at every chance to get closer to Marinette. He'd told her he loved her. He'd boosted her when she needed him. He'd reached out and asked for her friendship. He had spent the last year and a half putting himself in her orbit, over and over and over again.

Kagami couldn't know what she was talking about.


	3. Camaraderie

Adrien was avoiding her.

Not that Marinette was actively trying to hang out with him either. Her feelings were more confused than ever after New York. That trip felt almost unreal, like it’d happened in another life. Once she’d gotten back to Paris, it was so easy to act like what happened in America didn’t matter. He was still with Kagami. Marinette still wanted him. She knew she couldn’t have him. Her resolution to tell him how much he mattered to her dissolved the moment they were back in the context of Paris, because what changed, really? She loved him, so she’d let him go.

That didn’t make the monosyllabic responses and swiftly broken eye contact hurt less.

So she sat on her balcony and waited anxiously for Chat.

Tikki flew from her purse. “Try to calm down, Marinette. I could feel your leg shaking.”

“I’m sorry, Tikki. I’m just so nervous. I think I’m more nervous now than when I told Chat Noir my identity.”

“Everything will be okay. Chat Noir is one of your best friends, you’ll get through all right together.”

Something Marinette had never allowed herself to think about before trickled into the forefront of her mind. “ _Tikki! You know who he is!_ ”

“So trust me.” The little kwami rested a gentle arm on Marinette’s cheek.

“Hey.”

Marinette whirled around at the shaky voice behind her. “Chat Noir!”

De ja vu struck her. He sat crouched above her balcony in the exact same spot he had the night Glaciator attacked. His expression was similarly morose, too.

“You’re here,” she breathed.

“I promised I would be.” Chat stared at the railing for a handful of long minutes while Marinette waited for him to speak. He looked like a boy about to jump off a cliff, unsure whether his parachute would catch him.

Even though she thought she knew the answer, she still asked. “Are you okay, Kitty?”

Their eyes met and he huffed a laugh. “That’ll take some getting used to. You, calling me that, without your costume…look, before I change back, you need to know that we already know each other in real life. That’s why I was so – why I reacted the way I did. We go to school together, and we’re friends, but I think you’re a little scared of me.”

Marinette’s mind raced a mile a minute. She had a lot of friends at school and she couldn’t think of a single person there who scared her.

Chat Noir hopped down to sit on the railing, facing her, and closed his eyes. “Claws in.” Green light swept over his body from toe to head to reveal…

She blinked rapidly, thinking something got in her eye and she was imagining things. She reached up to clean her glasses, remembered she didn’t wear any, and rubbed her eyes before looking again. No change, it still looked like Adrien Agreste was sitting on her balcony railing. “It’s…you’re…but…”

“I’ll go if you want me to.”

“No! Don’t – just…what…” She tugged at her pigtails.

Through her spinning thoughts tilting her vision like a funhouse mirror, she saw Adrien sigh and jump onto the floor. “I’m sorry. Plagg, claws – ”

Tikki flew onto his hand and stopped him. “No! Stay, she just needs a minute. Plagg, what are you doing?”

The lump moving around in Adrien’s shirt pocket emerged with a slice of strong-smelling cheese. “Watching the show. And for that, I need snacks.”

“Plagg!”

“Lighten up, Sugarcube, they’ll get there eventually.”

Two things happened nearly at once. Marinette registered the nickname and it snapped her out of her discombobulated trance. She reached for her kwami. “Awwww, Tikki, he calls you Sugarcube? That is so sweet!” Exactly a moment later she looked at Plagg perched on his holder’s shoulder and – she finally registered the fear in Adrien’s eyes.

His pupils were round. His sclera were white. But she knew that expression from dozens of near-misses (and not-misses) on the battlefield. She saw it in New York.

_Oh my god – New York!_

“THAT’S why you were in New York! Because of me! Oh Adrien, I’m so sorry, I put you in that position and I – ”

“You couldn’t have known – you were just trying to do something kind.”

“Our secret identities almost destroyed us!”

“That’s why we’re doing this though, right?” Adrien put a hand on her shoulder, the way Chat does when he’s comforting her – this boy, this boy in front of her looked so much like her partner – he _was_ her partner. Two boys melded into one in her mind, and suddenly Marinette understood them both so much more. It took her breath away.

He pulled away his hand like he was afraid she might burn him. She tried not to let that hurt.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “Yes, that’s exactly why.”

They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

A little giggle rose in Marinette’s throat; she tried to stifle it but when Adrien flashed his green eyes to her face she just dissolved into her lounge chair.

It was just too…to _much_. Too funny. Too cosmically cruel to be true and yet it was true. Adrien was Chat Noir, her ridiculous and reliable partner, the boy who’d saved her life many times over. Chat Noir was Adrien, her polite and inscrutable crush. Marinette didn’t try to change herself when she transformed. But for Adrien, apparently the mask flipped a switch. He hid half himself behind the mask and hid the other half without the mask.

Marinette laughed because it was sad: she was lonely because she bore the brunt of this miraculous responsibility. But he was lonely because…he was lonely.

Well, no more. This was the sweetest and most earnest person she’d ever known, and she’d be damned if she ever let him be alone again.

“Hey pigtails, snap out of it, you’re worrying Sugarcube.”

Plagg’s irritated admonition only send forth a new flow of giggles. Marinette reached out and grabbed Adrien and yanked him down to sit with her. She took deep breath after shuddering deep breath until she finally calmed down. They were squished uncomfortably on her lounge chair, the wood digging into awkward places. Grinning at him, she held up her fist.

“It’s you and me against the world, Kitty.”

Watching the happiness and relief spread on his face was like watching the dawn break. He bumped his fist with hers. “Always.”


End file.
